Fly Away

     My husband has been deployed for the past few months and when we were within 3 weeks of his return, I foolishly told the girls that "Daddy would be home soon."  Seeing as they are 2 and 3, their comprehension of the term "soon" was only loosely based on an actual time continuum.  Our days were consumed with tears as they repeatedly asked if Daddy would be home tonight, tomorrow morning, will he ever return, what if I make him a yummy cake?  My eldest usually wakes up early, exclaiming "Happy Morning Day!" but instead, I'd go check on her and find this: 

Needless to say, our hearts couldn't handle it anymore, so I decided to pack the girls in the van and head out to visit all of the grandparents!  Our first stop was just outside of Memphis where we celebrated their uncle's birthday, fed catfish in the lake, and visited the zoo.

     After spending a few days there, we piled into the van again and drove to Pensacola, FL, my hometown.  We spent most of our time at the beach where the girls chased seagulls and pretended to be a lifeguard like Mommy (in her past life).  We also treated ourselves to cheeseburgers at a favorite local joint!

     After Pensacola, we drove down to Tampa with their uncle to go play at Busch Gardens with their cousin!  I didn't dare to bring my camera into the park, so no shots of them but rest assured that they had a fantastic time ;-)  After making the three day drive back to Oklahoma, we only had a couple of days to wait for Daddy to come home...

     We promptly hit the road again soon after he came home and took a couple of weeks to explore the Southwest.  We went to San Antonio, Marfa, Albuquerque, Santa Fe, Ouray, and Mesa Verde and it was truly one of the best vacations of my life!  I shot 5 rolls of film and just sent them off to my lab today...I cannot wait to get the scans back.  Be ready for a large photo share in a couple of weeks!

Impromptu Indoor Session

     I woke up the other morning feeling inspired and ready to create something beautiful with my camera!  I loaded a roll of Portra 400 into my camera, rated it at 200, and walked around the house to gather ideas.  I knew I wanted something cozy and intimate to capture.  Unfortunately, my bedraggled, yet wild, little girls were not feeling the same creative juices as I was.  I fired off two frames before I realized I was wasting shots; it just wasn't going to happen with them that day.  So then I got in touch with my friend...

     She's always been down for being my guinea pig.  We actually met through a "model call" for when I was casting for pet photography, and her kitties stole my heart.  I have since worked with her for maternity, newborn, bridal, and cake smash portraits, and now we've added a nursing session to our extensive list of shoots!  I asked the lab to push the roll a stop as well, and I absolutely LOVE these images!  I'm so happy to know that my vision for indoor shoots can be translated onto film as well.  

A Fun Family Visit

     I was so happy to have my mom, niece, and nephew come visit the girls and me for a little over a week recently.  We went out to explore the area and hit up Hoboken Coffee Roasters (a seriously awesome little joint in Guthrie), Thunder Fountain/Myriad Gardens, and The Wedge Pizzeria.  Who doesn't love playing tourist in their own town?

     For my fellow film geeks, the images from the coffee shop were shot on consumer Fuji Superia 200 (rated at box speed) and pushed one stop.  I love the tones for the indoor frames, but it definitely made skin tones a bit too magenta in my opinion.  The fountain and pizzeria images were shot on Portra 400 (rated at 200) and also pushed one stop.  It obviously has much more accurate and pleasing skin tones than the Fuji Superia 200, but I think I still prefer the Fuji 400H overall.  I did just shoot a roll of Portra 400 (rated at 200) all indoors today with a friend and will be dropping it off tomorrow for processing, so maybe Portra will steal my heart soon!

Falling for Film

     I've been bitten by the film bug, hard.  The whole process of shooting analog makes my soul sing and my heart happy, from the careful selection of film stock depending on my shooting scenario, to the ability to determine when I want to press the shutter, to the anticipation of receiving my scans so that I can relive the moment that I created the photograph.  Shooting film forces me to slow down, focus, and appreciate the present moment rather than taking on the rapid-fire shooting stance digital tends to lend itself to.  I obviously won't be giving up digital for there's something to be said for its ease and convenience, but film has definitely solidified a starring role in my photography life!  Here are several examples of what I've been up to these past few months!

My Evolving Style

     Photography is an interesting and exciting journey filled with both beauty and frustration.  It takes a photographer years to master the craft, develop her style (both in shooting and editing), and claim pride in her work.  We're drawn this way and that, comparing ourselves to other photographers, judging our value by the amount of attention our images receive, and striving for perfection under the parameters constructed by some all-knowing photography rule book.  It's no wonder that we can fall into the trap of questioning our abilities and even our reason for pursuing our passion.

     I've spent the first part of this year battling self-doubt and insecurity, and I've finally realized that I just have to say "screw it."  I'm shooting for me.  I'm shooting for my family.  I'm working to preserve our memories of this short, precious life we lead.  And you know what?  It's not perfect. It's not even pretty a lot of the time.  But it perfectly represents us, and that's what matters.  

Presenting Princess Alison

     A charming couple that I've known since moving to Oklahoma recently had their very first bundle of joy...a perfectly precious and sweetly squishy newborn girl!  I had the good fortune of doing a lifestyle session for them on the day she turned two weeks old and let me tell you, I enjoyed every minute of it!  The proud parents were so relaxed and at ease and their adorable daughter had the perfect mix of drowsiness and curiosity, so I was able to capture both sleepy and awake images.  Without further fanfare, I present to you, Alison Elise...

Double Trouble!

     I was fortunate enough to work with newborn twin girls a couple of weeks ago and let me tell you, they were GORGEOUS!  I had worked with this family last year capturing a lifestyle session with their oldest daughter, so it was very cool to get to work with their newest girls as well.  They had a lovely addition put on to their master bedroom to accommodate the babies, and it was just so beautiful, cozy, and filled with light...a lifestyle photographer's dream, for sure!!  I got some of my favorite newborn pictures thus far so without further ado, here they are...introducing, Ruby and Sadie, the cutest new babies on the block!

Just Laugh

    Laughter really is the best medicine.  I truly believe that we all take ourselves just a bit too seriously, and by a bit, I mean way too much.  We’re all just bumbling buffoons in costumes bouncing along, trying not to knock anything over or destroy something during this journey of life.  Life ends too quickly, so why waste our precious moments chastising ourselves for saying or doing something completely idiotic at times?  I know that I’m your classic introvert that morphs into a blabbering fool if I find myself in a group of more than say, two people.  I’m also well acquainted with not-so-graceful face plants and running into objects that have been in the same location for years.  What can I say or do to defend my word vomit and clumsy physical deficiencies?  Nothing.  I believe that one of two outcomes are possible for those people that I have graced with my display of social awkwardness: they can take me way too seriously and judge my ineptitudes with an air of superiority and disdain (which is a reaction that I can’t control, nor do I find these people to be of interest to me…I’ve found them to be quite boring human specimens), or they can graciously smile and maybe even genuinely chuckle and lend a hand or a story of a similar embarrassing incident which they get to call all their own.  Voila!  A kindred spirit has been found in my chaotically unfolding story of existence.  So come on, people, lighten up!  Live a little.  Laugh a lot.  Remember, we’re all just bumbling buffoons in costumes…

My Moody Ocean

Dear Girls,

    I confess that I don’t understand you at times.  Your moods remind me of my days of youth spent standing on the shore, watching the waves roll in.  As the water slipped back to sea, it left behind fat fingers in the sand that sparkled and playfully tickled the soles of my feet, inviting me to come join the colorful shells and silly crabs.  I was always left with the feeling of pureness, completely lost in that moment of simple and complete joy.  This is the same unclouded awareness I enjoy when I see your smiles, hear your giggles, and feel your little arms wrapped around me.

    But waves always return, don’t they?  They would race in, stand tall for a split second, then crash down on the sparkly fingers.  Foam flew into the air, the crabs skittered away, and the shells were momentarily lost in the turbulent water.  I would brace for the impact not out of fear, but out of anticipation.  I knew that each wave brought new shells, more glitter, and stronger hands that would grasp the tops of my feet, then my ankles, my shins…

    And so my days by the shore would go, much like my days with you pass as well.  When I was young, I struggled to understand why I sunk deeper and deeper into the shimmering sand, but I never cared.  It made me love the beach even more.  Now that I’m in my youth of parenthood, I feel the same.  While I brace for the full impact of your more trying emotional crashes, not always being sure what brought them on, I find solace in the knowledge that there’s something magical on the other side.  Soon enough, I will see your sparkling smiles and feel your strong little hands wrap around me again, and I will sink deeper in love with you with every wave that rolls my way.

Catching Up, Part Two

     Squarespace kept crashing, so after an hour of pulling out my hair and yelling at the screen, I'm just going to break up these pictures.  Here's the second half!

Catching Up, Part One

     After a whirlwind of festivities, family visits, and the flu, I'm finally getting around to updating my blog.  Did I get to shoot everyday this past month?  Nope.  So I guess I've already "failed" at my 365 Project, but I did capture lots of images that I love.  I only missed maybe a total of a week of shooting, so I'm not too worried.  Life happens, after all.  Without further ado, here are my favorites from the dozens I've taken over the past few weeks...

Going Outside of My Comfort Zone

     I wasn't able to post the picture from yesterday because the website wouldn't load, so playing a little catch-up here.  This first picture is of my girls eating breakfast at their favorite dining spot in the house: the step down into the living room.  Tables are overrated anyways, right?  And perhaps you're asking what that 2x4 block contraption is on the pillar...that would be a "workout necessity" for my husband to do pull ups and back muscles something or other.  There are a total of four of these lovely aesthetic blocks that he put up while I was at Click Away.  Awesome, right?  Shot at f/2, 1/200, ISO 250

     This was the shot that I took today.  Every year, one of our neighbors has a burn in the creek on the back of our property and we also throw some of our branches on the fire as well.  It takes all day and is really hot and I end up quite sore and exhausted by the time the sun is going down.  Watching the light streaming through the smoke makes it all worth it though.  Shot at f/8, 1/250, ISO 800

     So what do these pictures have to do with going outside of my comfort zone?  Well, as I'm sure you've noticed, I seem most comfortable right in my subject's face (although they may not feel the same way).  With both of these images, I had taken quite a few steps back which makes me extremely uncomfortable.  Remarkably, both girls are looking at me in the first which pretty much NEVER happens and I wasn't even sure what to do or say.  In the second image, my kids aren't in it.  I'm pretty lost when I see a scene that I want to capture without my kids...what's the focus of the frame?  Oh well, I still like it, if even for nostalgia's sake.

Baby to Toddler Eyelashes

     I recently noticed that my youngest's eyelashes are finally starting to darken and fill in.  She's  incredibly blonde, so I wasn't sure when/how much/if her eyelashes would grow and turn from light to dark.  I just had to get a picture of these pretties that frame her big eyes.  Maybe her hair is next??  I kind of hope not...I love my little towhead!  Shot at f/2.2, 1/320, ISO 100.

Makeshift Crown

     Today was one of those days when I was shooting constantly, but not liking anything that I saw.  I was focusing on my oldest toddler today and she was in rare form: refusing to hold still for longer than 2 seconds, weird faces in every frame, occasionally stepping on her sister.  I finally grabbed a mini wreath from our Christmas decorations and told her to put it on her head, turn away from me, and count to three.  She gave me one second, but that was enough to get this so-so frame.  Shot at f/2, 1/250, ISO 100.

I should've just left them be, since all they wanted to do was lay around in the monkey grass...

Post Nap Snuggle

     Birdie actually woke up fairly happy from her nap, so I nabbed the opportunity to get a picture of my husband cuddling with her.  Shot at f/2.8, 1/250, ISO 250.

Woodland Fairy

     The past few days, I've been trying to force myself to shoot in harsh, overhead light.  I feel that challenging yourself to work in less than ideal situations makes you think outside the box and therefore improve your skills.  One benefit to midday sun is that the shadows are shorter, so I decided to follow my oldest daughter around the backyard.  She loves to wear her fairy dress and wings and I figured this would be my best chance at capturing a shadow image of her.  I love the way the wings were drooping and that you can see both of arms in a loose clasp; it's as if she's lamenting the changing of seasons.

Shot at f/2.8, 1/1250, ISO 100

No More Stickers

     My youngest daughter is a natural in front of the camera.  This shot took only three frames and five seconds to get.  All I had to do was put her in the right spot and ask her to put her hands on her head and look for birds outside the window.  Could not have been easier, and I love it!  

Settings were f/2.0, 1/640, ISO 400

Dappled Details

     Every Wednesday, there's a nice park in my local area that hosts a nature play group.  For an hour, the girls listen to stories, dance, make a craft, and go explore outside.  They love the social interaction and it makes my day go by a bit faster, so it's a win-win.  The only downside?  It lets out just before lunch, when the sun is directly overhead.  As most of us have heard, that's not the best time to take pictures thanks to the harsh shadows cast on our faces and the inevitable squinty eyes.  Therefore, I've never bothered to take my camera along to the play group.

     Today, however, I decided to challenge myself.  While the girls were cutting and pasting the state animals of Oklahoma, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to shoot and how to work around the lighting challenges.  I then noticed that Adelynn was chewing on her hair.  This is a (pretty gross) habit of hers that usually frustrates me, but I realized that she hadn't done it in almost a month.  At that moment, I recognized that this quirk of hers was coming to an end and that I might *possibly* miss it one day.  The image I wanted to capture had been decided.

     The next part would be harder: how to work with the light to highlight this memory.  I remembered that the park staff had built a small fort out of branches by the playground, and I knew that would have to be the location.  Here it is:

     As you can see, the harsh shadows and squinty eyes are out in full force.  Since there were no clouds to diffuse the light, my only option was to shoot in the shade.  I got positively giddy when I saw the girls go in the fort and start pretending there was "a big, bad wolf" outside.  Why was I so excited?  Because the light was perfectly dappled on their faces.  Now dappled light is also something photographers are commonly told to avoid, but I feel that it can be used to your advantage if you have a plan in mind.  In my case, I knew that I wanted to bring the viewer's focus to my daughter chewing on her hair, and with a little patience and a lot of luck, I might be able to capture it. 

     Since we were in a relatively dark area with very bright spots of light dancing on their faces, I had to get proper exposure on their skin.  This means I had to expose for the highlights on her face, not the shadows.  If I had exposed for the shadows, the highlights would have blown out and I'd lose the exact details that I was trying to capture.  This was the hardest part...chasing a toddler and flecks of light while toggling my focus point to keep up, waiting for just the right second to hit the shutter.  After a couple of minutes of persistence, though, I got what I wanted.

     The final settings for this image is f/2.5, 1/1250, ISO 100, E/V +1.  Now the fun part begins!  I'm a huge fan of tight frames, so the first thing I did was to crop way in the only include her nose, mouth, and the three points of light.  I don't use presets for my color images, I just have a typical workflow that I go through: add contrast and clarity (this is necessary since I shoot in RAW), lower shadows, subtle split tone, and a heavy fade.  I also add grain most of the time because I dislike the perfection of digital images and prefer the feel of film...maybe that makes me weird.  Anyways, here's the final image:

     So there you have it, my process of creating an image from concept to final edit.  I shoot for about 5-10 minutes per day and edit for 20-30 minutes, but I'm always thinking up ideas and how to work with different situations.  Hope this was helpful for some!

Hold Me Tight

So here we go, attempt number 2 at accomplishing a 365 Project!  I tried to do this last year, but failed.  Miserably.  I was recently going through my old files though and saw so much improvement with frequent shooting, that I've decided to make it a priority.  Another recurring theme I uncovered during my trip down memory lane: I wasn't in the pictures.  My poor children are going to look through their photo albums years down the road and only remember me as the big person with a big box attached to their face.  So in the spirit of improvement and presence, I dragged out my tripod, fiddled with the self timer and manual focus, and nabbed these couple of shots with my youngest.  I hope that one day she'll treasure them as much as I do.

For those interested, these were shot at f/3.5, 1/200, ISO 800, E/V +1, with my 24mm.